Tuesday, December 6, 2011

"Are you sure you want to remove this child or pregnancy from your profile?"

This is the question BabyCenter asks if you've lost a baby and no longer wish to receive their weekly baby development updates.

Last February, we learned that Cora's birthmom had a miscarriage. She was carrying Cora's full sibling and had asked us to adopt the baby. Back then, I had also subscribed to the Baby Center updates. I remember having a hard time with the opt-out screen language then as I did today when I "removed" Emily from my profile. I feel like yelling at the screen: "NO!! I AM NOT SURE. I WANT TO KEEP HER!!"

I contacted BabyCenter last February with a suggestion that they wish to consider tweaking the language a bit as anyone reading the words on this screen has lost a baby. To someone who has lost a baby, the specific words used (e.g. "are you SURE you WANT to REMOVE") do matter. I suggested that there could be more caring language that could be used or simply a box to uncheck and the rep I corresponded with agreed with me. But apparently, they didn't follow through on the suggestion. So I'm having a few tears as I "remove" a baby from my profile once again. And, no I am NOT sure, and I do NOT want to REMOVE the baby. :(


  1. That is disappointing that nothing has changed since you made that suggestion back in February. Those triggers can be so painful at times like this. (((HUGS)))

    Welcome to the blogosphere! I look forward to reading/following your blog! xoxo

  2. You are officially the first blog I am "following" and I look forward to reading many posts from you both here and on FB. I am quite shocked that they have made no changes after you contacted them. You certainly could not have been the first to do so. Why are some things that could easily be so simple made to be difficult? Hugs to you Meg - always :)

  3. Makes me very mad about the website. Where is the compassion? Empathy? Simple respect? It is totally ignorant on how they phrase it and should know better running that type of website.I would like a chance to go off at them!!! Boils my blood.
    On another note, you have amazing courage Meg. Like I did with your sister, I will be following this blog and supporting you, Bill and Cora, as you share your ups, downs and in betweens! Thank you for opening up and allowing us to be a part of your lives. Thank you. <3

  4. Sorry for the delayed comment. I replied to the comments on my blog on facebook but never came back here. Still getting used to this blogging... ;)

    Thanks for the welcome, Kath. I think come the new year, I will contact BabyCenter once again with my concern. Maybe, they will modify it this time and it could help a future mom who lost a child or had an unsuccessful adoption.

    Monica: I am honored to be the first blog you follow. I have enjoyed getting to know you better through facebook. We'll have to due the Soldier Field run together next year or meet for coffee sometime that I'm in Evanston.

    Diana: Thanks, for sharing my frustration. If my follow-up in January is fruitless, I think I might consider presenting them with a petition and lend other voices in the adoption/miscarriage/infant death community. Thank you, too, for all of your support through this process. I'm so very glad Kath put me in touch with you as you've been such a source of strength for me through this journey.